24. May 2011 by Gore Wehner.

Voice

Voice is what keeps readers connected to your character. It establishes who they are without having to resort to “telling.” For example, you can write: I’m terrified of spiders. Or you can write: Can’t stand those wiggly-waggly eight-legged misfits creeping out of corners and dangling by a sticky thread in one’s unsuspecting face.

Which person’s story would you rather read?

One person in our LCRW group who has mastered voice is Lisa Scott. It may be because of her experience as a voice-over narrator. I’ve often noticed that actors and voice talent specialists have an edge over those who haven’t read dialogue out loud for a hobby or a living. They wouldn’t be successful at their job if they couldn’t grasp the emotion behind the words. And that’s what we do when we write using voice: we try to grasp the emotion.

Here are three ways to say the same thing using three different voices:

Ain’t nobody seen Miss Polly, not since school let out that swelterin’ June day. Guess Wendell was the last one to set eyes on her. Says she was sweatin’ like a pig in front of a carvin’ knife.

It happened on the hottest day in June. Me and Darlene stormed out of the school, giggling over something that no longer seems important. We had no idea goofy old Wendell would be the last one to set eyes on Polly McGraw. If we had even one bit of sense, we would’ve kept our eye on her, too. Because after she marched out of the classroom, she was never seen again.

Darlene and I joined the throng of students piling out the school’s yawning door into Mother Nature’s oven. My face was slick with sweat by the time we reached the waiting bus. Wendell was there, too, face red as a chili pepper. “Did you see Polly?” he asked. We shook our heads. “Just wondering.” He shrugged. “She didn’t look so good.” At the time we hadn’t thought it odd. But when she went missing, we began to wonder.

Each character has their own unique voice. We can picture what kind of person each one is, even though we have only read one paragraph of the story.

I challenge anyone who reads this to develop their character’s unique voice. First, second, or close third…it doesn’t matter. If you don’t have a strong voice, you’ll lose the reader.

Try putting yourself in the shoes of a beloved character. Harry Potter. Jane Eyre. Claire Huxtable (my personal favorite!). Television or novel character, it doesn’t matter. Now write a paragraph using their voice. How would they talk? Think? Act? The more you practice using different characters, the more natural it will become to write in their voice.

And it never hurts to take an acting class.

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18. May 2011 by Gore Wehner.

I run a Show vs. Tell workshop to teach my students how to add dimension to their work. I am willing to share a portion of it here in order to help others strengthen their writing.

Here is a very basic, dull sample of writing from a first draft:

It may have been hours or days later when two men returned to go through what was left of my stuff. One of them held a brochure from VitalWorks, and he was pointing out some things to the other guy, who was nodding. They made a few jokes, probably about my untimely death, and they made a few phone calls using my phone. Then, one of them noticed that there were messages on my machine, and played them back. Why they hadn’t given it much notice before, I do not know. But again, it was just Diane’s voice followed by Dean’s. But the men seemed interested enough to put the tape into a plastic bag and seal it.

You’ll notice it tells us about what is happening, but we aren’t seeing it. It’s quite dry, no real action, and no sensory details. But if we add sensory details such as what our protagonist hears, feels, smells, and even possibly taste, we enrich the experience for the reader. We can further enhance through adding symbolism and inner dialogue. Here is an example of adding one of the sensory elements–hearing:

It may have been hours or days later, when a husky voice echoed from the downstairs hall, “Charlie? Take a look at this.”

I peered down from the stairwell, careful to remain hidden.

The floorboards creaked beneath his feet as the guy named Charlie lumbered toward the papers his friend held out. He cleared his throat. “What’s that?”

“Bad time for the chick to die, huh? The stocks for VitalWorks are through the roof.” Husky Voice chuckled.

 Note that I added a husky voice, the clearing of a throat,  and creaking floorboards. I also added dialogue. Already this piece is becoming more lively. Let’s add the sensory element of smell:

It may have been hours or days later when the scent of men’s cologne wafted up the stairs, a smell I recognized as “Devil’s Heir.” Someone was here.

“Charlie?” a husky voice echoed from the downstairs hall. “Take a look at this.”

I peered down from the stairwell, careful to remain hidden.

Reeking of cigarettes and cheap whiskey, Charlie lumbered across creaking floorboards toward the papers his friend held out. He cleared his throat. “What’s that?”

“Bad time for the chick to die, huh? The stocks for VitalWorks are through the roof.” Husky Voice chuckled. I caught another whiff of “Devil’s Heir.”

 I added a cologne, cigarettes and whiskey. We already know a little more about these men, and I never had to tell you. See how easy this is? I won’t continue, after all, I get paid to teach this class!  But by using a character’s five senses (and maybe even sixth!) we can bring our stories to life on the page. The strongest writers employ these sensory experiences in every scene.

Try this writing exercise. Can you bring sensory details into these three situations?

1) I took an unused path into the woods and encountered a bear.

2) When Sarah showed up for our date, I was surprised and shocked at how she looked.

3) I swam in the ocean a little too far and saw a shark a mere three yards away.

Now add smells, tastes, what your character hears, feels, and sees. Add inner dialogue. Metaphor. See how deep you can go with your scene. Make it real. You’ll be well on your way to “showing” your story.

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